DAY 35Second appointment with Dr. [Name Redacted]. I think he's right. I'vespent so long trying to prove myself, scared of what I think I alwaysknew, deep down. I've been playing a part, trying to be what I think aman is supposed to be, but it's always felt false, I understand that now.I'm ready to start accepting who I really am.DAY 36I bought my first tube of lipstick today. The cosmetics aisle was sobright, and I had to wait until there wasn't anyone around. My heart wasbeating so hard I could hear it. I felt like I was trying to rob a bank.I had to use the self-checkout, and I kept worrying that someone wouldsee me with it. What would I say? But it was so thrilling to own it, likethe first day I shaved my legs. I tried it on when I got home and Ilooked ridiculous but it made me so happy I cried. It's called "StoplightRed."DAY 39Told Dr. [Name Redacted] about my new diagnosis. She said it shouldn'taffect the study, and in fact my participant status meant I could getshortlisted for. It just got dark out and we decided to walk to the local convenience store near our house. On the way up there Derrick pulled down his shorts while walking and said "Hey look at this!!" Tommy and I turned around and Derrick had his semi hard dick exposed in his hand. I was very surprised to see Derrick dick because Derrick is very short. He was only around 4 and half feet tall and he had pubic hairs on him and his dick was almost 6" and that was only semi hard. His dick looked even bigger because of his height. We all laugh about it but I was really turned on.On the way back from the store we stopped by one of our other friend Robert's house to see what he doing. Tommy went to knock on his door and Derrick and I stood in the front yard waiting. It was very dark around Robert's house. You couldn't see nothing and we couldn't see the front door because there were a bunch of bushes covering the front door walk way so I went for it. I was around 10 feet away from were Derrick was.
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